An Apology to Adam Truesdale

Why am I writing this? Because I felt convicted that I had been harboring anger and resentment toward an old classmate, and I needed to confess it and release any grudge against Adam. God moved in me, and I felt impelled to respond.

Back in the wonder years of middle school, I met a classmate named Adam Truesdale. He lived across the alley from me and was changing middle schools to Washington Middle for the 1999-2000 school year. Since he was joining a new school with new people I was asked to introduce him around and tell him about the school.

8th grade saw us sharing a couple of classes (social studies with Katz and maybe Language Arts with a teacher whose name I don't recall). He seemed to fit right in (which I held against him since I had spent two years failing to do just that). Honestly I looked at him with envy because he had everything I wanted - height, money, married parents, a nice house, popularity, athleticism, nice clothes, and an outgoing personality. This was horrible on my behalf. I was not living to be happy for other folks' apparent success.

Hell, I never even found out if his life was as awesome as it looked. He might have had hardships I couldn't see, but I was so self-absorbed and idiotic that I secretly loathed Adam.

Man I am so sorry Adam for being such a jerk.

He was the only friend I ever invited to my house all the way from 6th grade through my high school graduation. He came over once or twice to play the game Half-Life on my computer. I then got in trouble because I didn't get permission for him to do so. So I held a little more bitterness against Adam for that...it totally wasn't his fault.

When we got to Garfield for high school Adam seemed to be even more popular and socially prosperous. So my envy flourished. Me and my odd collection of friends used to play lunch time football out on the muddy field where glory was sought by mostly non-athletic "brainiacs". Adam would on occasion join us and he was often the best player. One such day his team had pretty much destroyed my team and I became indignant. He (being about 160lbs to my 115lbs) clotheslined me and left me in the dirt mocking the foolish way I had responded. My getting frustrated and combative was totally wrong. I was at fault. Again I am sorry for being such a jerk.

After 10th grade I dropped out of high school in favor of full time running start at a local junior college. I didn't see Adam again until a post-graduation party at my friend Jonathan's house. Adam and some of his friends were having a party next door and he came over to share some graduation good cheer. I became sullen. I remember I was sitting in a wicker chair and Adam walked over to me with his hand extended in friendship saying, "No hard feeling man?" I refused to get up. I refused to shake his hand. I just said, "No."

I was the total religious jerk who could forgive and let go. I am very sorry for being such a unkind jerk to you Adam.